It’s hard for me to find peace. I am always annoyed at things. I am constantly worried about things. Yes, I want control. I want to be in control of my life but there are things larger than me. There’s nothing I can do right now except do what I can to ease the pain. I tell people that no matter how they feel – sad, worried, hate, happy, bliss – the world still turns so why not smile a little. It’s hard to tell someone that when I don’t believe it. This current situation is definitely making me rethink a lot of things in my life. Nothing seems important anymore. I lost my inspirations and drive. I don’t feel like blogging about food nor do I want to hang out.
Cry…..thats what I want to do instead.
I hope she doesn’t blame herself for this mess nor constantly think about it.

I felt calmness.
As I was leaving the office today I felt calm. I can’t explain where it came from. I didn’t feel the need to walk fast and get annoyed at slow people. I wasn’t annoyed at all the chattering in the subway. I peacefully did my grocery shopping in Chinatown. My heart was smiling. Is this the better part of me?

~Incubus
If I turn into another,
dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we’ll always have each other
when everything else is gone.